Thirty Years of Stories from a Kindergarten Teacher

When Pastor Reinert announced to the young Faith Baptist Church congregation that he wanted to start a school, his idea didn't quite garner the enthusiasm he expected. True, they had only owned the building for one year. It may not have seemed logical or possible to have a school at that point to the congregation, but God obviously had laid on Pastor's heart. So Faith Baptist School began.

Mrs. Taylor, our present Kindergarten teacher, also has a way of achieving her desires no matter the obstacle, including getting Pastor Reinert to allow her to teach the kindergarten class art and music during the second half of each day. Soon she was the full time kindergarten teacher. That was over twenty five years ago!

 

 After this many years of teaching kindergarten, you can imagine that Mrs. Taylor has heard it all. And she has. But who could remember thirty years' worth of cute children's quotes? Mrs. Taylor wrote all hers down on index cards and has them sorted into two boxes she keeps in her desk. When I asked for funny stories, she immediately reverted to these two boxes. I took the liberty of writing some of these down; so enjoy some of the darndest things that kids say.

Jonathon Abbott, a current senior in our class, used to say "Look Mrs. Taylor! I'm a woodpepper!" and would proceed to bang his head repeatedly on his desk.

Pam (Reinert) Lee used to hide candy in her skirt pockets and try to eat it during naptime, and then would cry crocodile tears when she was caught.

Micah Price ran into class one day and shouted, "Mrs. Taylor! I love to go to the pumpkin patch because they have the box potties!"

Brad Esham walked in one day and announced, "My cat had kittens this morning, and I got to see the extension cords!"

Scott Zockoll burst through the door and shouted, "Mrs. Taylor! On the way to school the cop gave Mommy a war thing because she was speeding!"

One time, Mrs. Taylor was sick for an extended period of time and couldn't figure out why. That year, it was only Matthew Zockoll and Trey Parsons in the class. Suddenly, when Mrs. Taylor wasn't watching, Trey burst out and said, "Mrs. Taylor, is Matthew supposed to put the tissues back in the box after he used them?!" Sure enough, Matthew and Mrs. Taylor had been sharing the same tissues for the past few weeks.

Trey Parsons also had a smart answer for every question. When asked what a baby deer was called, he deftly answered "A toddler."

Josh Huntington, the Jolly Blonde Giant, cried so easily when he was young, but today remains a favorite of Mrs. Taylor's due to the fact that she could rest her coffee cup on his head and have it within perfect reaching distance. I'm still not sure how this feat was accomplished.

Meghan Hamilton, or little Meggy Moo, was an extremely quiet kindergartener. However, after the story of Esther, Mrs. Taylor asked who sat at the king's gate. Little Meggy Moo answered "Humpty Dumpty!"

One day after baseball at recess, Jackson van Buskirk walked into class and asked "Mrs. Taylor? What's a fallball?" Mrs. Taylor arched her eyebrow and said "A what?" Jackson replied "A fallball. When I hit the ball too hard Mr. Price yelled 'FALLBALLLLLLLL!'"

Haley Fairall was convinced that Jacob's brother was named Seesaw, and also announced to the class during playtime that "The toy taker-outter is also the toy putter-backer."

When a classmate dropped a bottle of glue, Brooke Plummer informed her that she had dropped her Elmo's.

Thomas Cropper would always get upset when people didn't put 'punchination' on the ends of their sentences.

Becky Byerly wasn't totally sure, but when asked where her home was, she replied with "Well, I think I live in America...."

One day when Brent Esham was the line leader, he turned to Mrs. Taylor and proudly announced "Look Mrs. Taylor! I opened the door wide enough so you can get through!"

Dan Gore would always get excited during lunchtime because he had dumdrops in his lunchbox.

K.J. Davis told the class about his new pet, a canine. When asked about the name, he simply replied "Dog."

Jeremy Rose once solemnly stated that "no man can serve two pastors."

Emily Leon always loved pigs because they are spoinky.

And, to bring honor to the current class, Alex Condos held up a violet crayon and asked "What's this?" Mrs. Taylor replied "A purple crayon." Alex read the crayon's paper wrapping and said "It's not a purple crayon. There's no 'a' there."

And last but not least, for the past few years, according to the kindergarten class, the hallways now have hanitizer.

Mrs. Taylor could tell you dozens more stories, but those are hers to tell. I guarantee that she would love to share them though! So if you ever need a good chuckle, head down to the kindergarten classroom. Enjoy!

Written by Madeline King, Edited by Mr. Zockoll